Long Distance Relationships
'Pen friends', where two people communicate but rarely see each other, is one way of having a fairly long-term relationship without any com mitment by either of the writers. These far distant 'affairs' are becoming more common. Working holiday visas issued to young visitors to the UK, student gap years and cheap air travel all bring people together from across the globe. Many inter-country/continent friendships result from such intermingling.
Usually they blossom for a while and then die a death. If face to face meetings do not proceed much further than letter writing or email/text messages, it is usually due to the fact that the parties do not want anything more. They prefer their present (single?) lifestyle. That is why they like being pen friends. Only the strongest of relationships can survive a long separation. New acquaintances of marriageable age need to see, touch and speak with each other to keep a relationship moving.
In long distance loving, the man is usually happy to keep the affair on a low key. The woman ostensibly seems to want more, but in truth she is often more afraid of commitment than he is. This is why, even if she sheds a few tears after their occasional corporeal interludes, the romance never proceeds beyond endearing, and occasionally passionate letters or emails.
If one of the duo really wants more than the occasional meeting up with each other, here are some useful do's and don'ts.
Dos of Long Distance Relationships
- Be honest. Let your friend know if you want something more than talk over the airways. How long are you prepared to wait for it. Time passes
- Send something more than an email occasionally
- Make an arrangement to share any expenses
- Express your feelings more openly than you would face to face. You can not get to know each other unless you do
- Break off when you have to, as firmly yet a sensitively as you can
Don'ts of Long Distance Relationships
- Move house or change jobs or make any other lifestyle alterations unless you have a positive commitment
- Wait for the annual Valentine's Day or birthday to send a special message/parcel
- Bear the sole costs of visits, phone calls
- Give up mixing with other people, trying new places or feel guilty about enjoying them
- Continue with the relationship when you feel it has run its course
