Choosing Bridesmaids
Choosing bridesmaids and particularly the maid/matron of honour can be a tough one, especially when your best friend or beloved sister is not the type of person who is well suited to being organised and helpful. Equally if you have two sisters or two very close friends, or one of each, you'll find it hard to choose between them and will be reluctant to make a choice for fear of upsetting whichever doesn't get the job.
Unless you want to have a very traditional wedding, or there are restrictions with your religion or culture, don't forget that nowadays it's OK not to stick to the old rules.
Can't choose between your best friend and your sister as maid of honour? Have both. There is no reason whatsoever why you can't have two maids/matrons of honour who share the duties between them. There's also no reason these days why you shouldn't have two best men, or a best woman instead of a best man, or even a man of honour instead of a maid or matron.
If your difficulty of choice is related purely to numbers of candidates, a useful strategy to use is to say 'family only' or 'adults only.'
By shaking up the traditional casting of wedding attendants you may ruffle a few feathers, especially amongst the older members of your family. But as always, do not forget whose wedding it is. What's important is that you have the people nearest and dearest to you with you when you get married - and that in making your choices of who to have you're not obliged to hurt anyone who really matters to you.
Long lost friends
When thinking of who to choose as bridal attendants many brides ask old friends they haven't seen for a long time, for totally understandable sentimental reasons. However, the reality is that people can change over the years and turn out not to be quite as the bride remembers them. The answer? Get back in touch with your old friend and get to know him or her again before asking them to be a bridal attendant, even if it's long distance via email and telephone. Try to find out what their financial circumstances are; they might not be able to afford to travel to your wedding, never mind pay for the necessary dress or suit. Once you're confident that the friendship is still strong and there is no obvious reason why they wouldn't want to be your bridal attendant, ask away.
Little ones
There's nothing quite so sweet as little girls in beautiful bridesmaids' dresses and little boys in cute pageboy suits, holding hands, smiling beatifically and charming the birds out of the trees. However that's as good as it gets. They can also be tetchy, temperamental, and get a bad attack of stage fright at just the wrong moment.
Choose child attendants with care. If there are children whom you will feel obliged to ask (e.g. your niece or nephew, best friend's daughter or son) and you know they're likely to misbehave or be too shy, it's probably safer to avoid having child attendants altogether.
