Sample Best Man's Speech
This sample speech focuses on the development of the relationship between the groom and the best man, giving an insight into the groom's bachelor ways, and how, at last, he met his Waterloo.
(Title of clergyman), ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. On behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank Ben for those kind words. So let me start by offering him and Jane some kind words in return. These are the kind words sent by family and friends, some of whom could not be here in person today.
(Read cards)
I have composed a few words myself to celebrate this very special occasion, and the way I feel about these two very special people. It goes like this:
Ben once was a bachelor swain
Who refused to commit, with disdain.
He swung through the trees Like Tarzan at ease,
But was finally grounded by Jane.
I met Ben a number of years ago, when we were both at the interesting stage between childhood and adultery. I had just moved to this town from a much quieter environment, and was having difficulty coping with the curious sounds that formed a permanent backdrop to daily life. There was the constant hum and roar of traffic, the distant barking of dogs, the intermittent wailing of sirens and car alarms, and a strange droning that seemed to come from somewhere near.
At first I had trouble locating the sound, which started up most evenings at around eight o'clock and continued unabated for over two hours. Then one evening I plucked up enough courage to venture into the pub next door to where I lived. Now remember, I was new in town, came from a rural background, didn't know anyone in my new neighbourhood, and had heard frightening stories about drunken behaviour in town pubs. I don't know what I expected, but it was probably scenes of violence and/or debauchery.
Well, I wouldn't have minded the debauchery, so I was probably half hoping to find some in the pub. Anyway, I crept in the door, and was surprised that no one took any notice of me. But what did surprise me was that the droning noise was much stronger inside the pub. A moment later I discovered its source. It was Ben holding forth on any and every topic that cropped up. He had words, he had opinions, and he had the self-confidence to put them across in the full expectation that they would be well received. He was, in short, a purveyor of words.
Interestingly enough, he was with a group of people who didn't seem to mind his endless stream of ideas, even when it was plain that he was making it up as he went along. And that was the second clue to this remarkable young man. You may have to battle to get a word in edgeways when you are with him, but he's always good company.
Ben noticed me standing alone, with my pint, on they edge of his group, and he invited me to join them. I did so, and was immediately singing for my supper as Ben welcomed me as the next topic of conversation. He quizzed me about my background, my family, where I went to school, and the games I played. He asked why I had moved there, what I did for a living, even my inside leg measurement. You see, that's another characteristic of Ben. He is quick to pick up a new interest, and quick to make himself as expert as he can on that subject. Well, I was his latest subject, and he must have liked what he heard because we became good friends from that evening on, and instead of listening to the droning noise from, inside my flat, I sat in the pub alongside its source and', found it a much more enjoyable experience.
That's not to say we always got on. Once I got to know Ben well enough, I had the temerity to disagree with him on the subject of religion. Or, to give it its proper name, football. As you know, football is like a religion for its fanatical followers, and Ben's devotion to Arsenal is nothing short of fanatical devotion. My own allegiance, however, is to Blackburn Rovers. And although the two clubs are not exactly rivals, each excites a similar degree of passion in the two of us. And when Ben extols the virtues of his North London club, to the exclusion of all other contenders, I feel it would be disloyal to my own preferred choice if I did not counter with a tale or two of my own achievements.
On one occasion, the football rivalry became rather heated, and we even descended to a bit of push and shove, with our chins only one inch apart. As we grappled, we tripped and fell to the floor, whereupon we both felt ridiculous and started giggling. We never had a serious falling out again, although our understanding was sorely tested when we started playing squash against each other.
I don't know if you knew this, but Ben is rather competitive. He's an only child, and has always got his own way. So when he plays a competitive sport, he expects to win. Not only that, he expects you to lose. Even worse, he expects you to mind losing to him. Trouble is, on the squash court, he used to be a menace. He would swing his racket dangerously and rush around the court, getting in his opponents way and even crashing in to the other player. This caused us a few interesting moments especially when I claimed the point every time he made a dangerous move.
However, I believe it was the give and take of our relationship , both on the squash court and in the pub dialogues, that prepared Ben for the ultimate change in his lifestyle - the change that has led to this very day.
As I implied in my opening ode, Ben was a bachelor boy, quite happy to spend his time and his money in any way he chose. No ties, no responsibility, no concessions made to anyone, especially not to any women. And then it happened. He met Jane.
I wasn't present when they met, so my report is secondhand. But I can tell you that the effect was as dramatic as it was unexpected. My sister Becky came down to visit
me, and she brought along a school friend for company. We had arranged to meet in my local pub - not the one where I had first met Ben, because I had moved since then, but my current local, and I was late. But Ben was there, and he recognised my sister from photographs I had shown him, so he went up and introduced himself, and she introduced him to her friend, Jane.
Becky said Ben went bright red, his eyes popped wide and his jaw dropped open. He looked like a goldfish choking, and for once in his life he was lost for words. Tarzan had met his Jane. By the time I arrived, he had recovered a little and was showing off a bit, but he had eyes only for Jane.
In the olden days, it used to be the man who would literally sweep the girl off her feet, often actually kidnapping her. That's why he needed a best man to fight off her family while he made good his escape. But in this case, Ben was the captive from the first moment he met Jane.
I promised not to say or do anything that would embarrass Ben today. But I lied. I got in touch with some of his previous girlfriends and asked them to return his house keys, and here they are. (Hold up large bunch of keys.) I told them that their relationships with Ben were now over, because he had found his soulmate. Some of the young ladies were deeply upset, as you can imagine, and I felt obliged to console them by giving them my own telephone number! Anything for a friend ...
Ben and Jane, I wish you all happiness, good health and boundless wealth. May all your troubles be little ones.
(The father of the bride usually toasts the couple, but if you are asked to do so, just continue by saying:)
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I know you would want to join me in wishing the new Mr and Mrs Groom a long and happy married life, so please rise and drink a toast to the bride and groom. The toast is: The bride and groom.
