Duties of the Best Man on the Big Day

1. General Planning

• Brief the caterer
  It will not be your responsibility to deal with the catering itself, as that is the preserve of the bride's father. However, you are responsible for managing the party and also for the speeches (including your own). You therefore need to have an understanding with the caterer to ensure that the tables are cleared and relative silence restored before the speeches begin. The clatter of crockery is irritating to the guests as well to the speakers.
• Order the buttonhole carnations for key people.
  Find out early who is arranging flowers for the occasion (bride's bouquet and anything else) and offer to deal directly with the florist for buttonhole carnations for the key people, i.e. the groom, the bride's father, yourself, the ushers.
• Book the car(s) and get a written confirmation.
  Car hire people, especially in the busy periods, will tend to be unreliable, and could easily let you down.,
• Reserve the formal attire (if appropriate).
  It's up to the bride and groom if they want to have a formal wedding, with morning suits and perhaps even top hats.
• Talk to the disco DJ or the leader of the band about the order of events and the choice of music.
• Check with the clergyman or register office on the timetable.
  Never forget that your mate's wedding may not be the only one that day, and although you may not be making the arrangements (that's what the groom and the bride's father will be doing) you will be the sergeant-major on the wedding day, the one responsible for keeping to the agreed time-table for getting there, for the completion of the ceremony, for the photo shoot afterwards, and for getting away for the reception.
• Organise the team of ushers or groomsmen.
  You can't do everything, so share the load with a hand-picked team.
• Ensure that the bride's father draws a table plan for the sit-down meal.
  This makes for an efficient start to the meal, and it is a good idea to mark on the plan who are the vegetarians, and have a coloured sticker on the back of those chairs so the waiters/waitresses don't have to keep asking.
• Research your speech by talking to the parents, siblings, friends, colleagues.
• Get background on the main guests, especially key relatives.

2. Being MC on the day

Unless a master of ceremonies or professional toast-master has been hired, you will be in charge and your duties will begin some time in advance, especially if there is to be a stag night. It will be up to you to organise it, to invite the gang, and to arrange the `entertainment' to mark the end of the groom's single days.

On the night before

• Make sure the groom gets to bed early and has an undisturbed night's sleep.

On the wedding day

• Rise early, dress smartly, and ensure that you have
• Money
• credit cards
• cheque book
• keys
• spectacles (if relevant)
• any relevant paperwork relating to the wedding - mobile phone and important numbers, including the car hire people
• guest list
• your speech
• the wedding ring(s).
• Help the groom to dress and look his best.
• Carry an emergency kit, including aspirin or paracetamol, antacid tablets, chewing gum or mints, tooth picks or floss, and deodorant.
• Check that the ushers are all properly dressed, with matching outfits. Anything or anyone that is out of sync will stand out and spoil the symmetry of the occasion.
• Brief the ushers or groomsmen on escorting guests to their places for the ceremony: bride's people on the left facing the front, groom's people on the right facing front.
• Brief the ushers or groomsmen on escorting guests to their places for the ceremony: bride's people on the left facing the front, groom's people on the right facing front.

3. At the reception

• Be in charge.
• Gather together all the cards and goodwill messages.
• Make sure everyone knows where they will be sitting.
• Check that the bride's father is OK about his speech.
• Check if anyone else has been asked to speak and agree the running order.
• Cross-check the stories they will be telling about the couple, to ensure that there is no duplication.
• Look after the bridesmaids - you are their spokesman.
• If there is a microphone for the speeches, check that it works and where it will be placed.
• Refer to absent relatives and friends.
• Tell the bride how pretty she looks.
• Give advice to the groom.
• Tell a story or two about him (embarrassing, revealing, but clean).
• Tell the bride how pretty she looks.
• Propose a toast to the couple (unless the bride's father has already done so).
• Alternatively, propose a toast to absent friends