Overcoming Low Self Esteem
Your self-image began to take shape even before you left the cradle and was pretty well established by the time you reached the age of 8.
By then, on average, you had already received over 70,000 negative dictates: 'Don't do that', 'No you can't', 'Who do you think you are?' 'You'll never make anything of yourself,' and so on. Most of these were run of the mill reprimands to which adults attach little importance; but they affect a child deeply and the accumulated effect can be devastating.
The means by which a person moulds the behaviour of another using a combination of reward and punishment is termed conditioning. You experienced plenty of it as a child, much of it negative. Very few young people reach adulthood without having their confidence dented in some way.
Once you understand your conditioning you can unravel the knots, dispense with the ropes that tied you down and leave them behind forever.
- The means by which a person moulds the behaviour of another using a combination of reward and punishment is termed conditioning. You experienced plenty of it as a child, much of it negative. Very few young people reach adulthood without having their confidence dented in some way. Once you understand your conditioning you can unravel the knots, dispense with the ropes that tied you down and leave them behind forever.
- When were your parents or guardians most proud of you? When were they least proud? How has this affected you? When (if they are still living) are they most proud of you nowadays? When are they least proud? How does this affect you today?
- Where did helping you to build your confidence and self-esteem rank on your parents' or guardians' list of priorities? Did they praise you often? Criticise constructively? Were they generous with their time? Or preoccupied with other things, like enforcing the house rules or pursuing their own interests? Make notes on how this affected you.
