Building Self Esteem

Some people think it's a sin to love yourself. They consider those who love themselves to be selfish, conceited and rather unpleasant. But they're mistaken. They confuse self-love with false pride and narcissism (being in love with yourself ) which is quite a different matter. Vanity and arrogance are usually a form of bravado engaged in by people who love themselves too little and are trying to cover it up.

If you don't love yourself you'll have no sense of self-worth, and no feeling of acceptance or belonging.

Furthermore, your capacity for loving others is directly related to how much love you have for yourself. You can't share anything you don't have. How can you truly love another if you don't feel worthy of giving and receiving love? Impossible.

The belief that you need to be different from how you are in order to be loved causes a great deal of misery. Unless you are happy within, you'll never be truly satisfied with what you do. Loving yourself unconditionally is the key to happiness. But you don't have to be perfect: the most loved person in the world makes mistakes! You don't even have to do your best. You don't have to prove anything. You're all right because you're all right, and lovable exactly as you are.

• Reflect on your attitude to loving yourself. Is it OK to love yourself? Or do you consider it sinful? Arrogant? Conceited? If so, from where does this attitude come?
• Write down this sentence: 'If only I were... then I'd be lovable.' Quickly, without thinking about it too hard, fill in the gap with whatever comes to mind. Examine what you've written. Does it really make sense?
• Regularly pamper yourself. Treat yourself to an occasional massage, aromatherapy, sauna, a long soak in the bath, reflexology, a manicure, whatever you fancy. Not only does it help recharge your batteries, but it also reminds you that you deserve the very best.
• Use these affirmations: 'I am worthy of all the good in my life.' 'I am open and accepting of myself and others.' 'I am loving, lovable and loved.' 'I feel warm and loving towards myself at all times.'
• Practise TFM - Time For Me. Make time for yourself every day, for relaxing, doing as you please, having fun. This sends a powerful message to the subconscious that you deserve it and you're worth it. Besides, if you don't make time for yourself, who else is going to make time for you?