How to Build Self Confidence

The formula for building confidence, indeed for bringing about any personal change, has five elements.

First, develop self-awareness: know yourself, acknowledge that there are aspects of yourself that you wish to change, and understand what has stopped you feeling confident so far.

Then apply the ITIA Formula (pronounced eye-tea-ah):

• Assert your intention to be confident, and make a commitment.
• Change your thinking. This includes changing restrictive attitudes and beliefs.
• Use your imagination. Imagine yourself as a confident person.
• Act as if you are already confident. The more you speak and behave confidently, the more confident you will become.

All four parts of the ITIA Formula are essential, otherwise the change is unlikely to be permanent, or worse, nothing may change at all.

• What difference would it make to your life if you knew without any doubt that you could achieve anything you set your heart on? If you like jot down a few comments in your notebook.
• Write down three beliefs that you hold about yourself which could be limiting your confidence. Now think of three beliefs you would rather have, beliefs that would empower you and bring confidence. Cross out the limiting beliefs and write these empowering beliefs in their place. What would you have to do for these new beliefs to come true?
• Make yourself very comfortable, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax. Allow your imagination to flow freely. What would it be like to be perfectly confident? What difference would it make to your life? Let your mind drift for a few minutes, then open your eyes and write down everything that comes to mind. Keep this list: you have it in your power to experience all this one day. Remember, whatever your mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve.
• Commit yourself to behaving more confidently, as from now, even if it feels like an act. Do what actors, musicians, politicians, sports stars and many others do the world over - pretend you're confident, even if you're not. For instance, calm your breath, stand upright, look people in the eye and speak with a clear, unwavering tone: you will immediately feel more confident.
• From now on make this an unshakable rule: stop putting yourself down. Never say anything about yourself, either silently or out loud, that you don't sincerely want to be or come true.