Coping with Depression with the help of a Mentor
Everyone needs a mentor to guide them and to help them to set appropriate criteria against which to measure their performance and behaviour. Our first mentors are our parents - or should be.
In adult life many people seem not to have a mentor, and therefore measure their standards of behaviour and performance against that of their peers. Here we have an expanding social problem. We all know that just trying to keep up with someone else is impossible because we always fall behind by a small amount. We only take in about 60 per cent of what we say to each other. This means that if maintaining acceptable standards of behaviour in our society relies on peer criteria, then our society is in a progressive state of deterioration!
We need to admire a mentor and he or she needs to be in some respects superior to ourselves in order to provide informed counselling. Their strengths should counteract our own weaknesses. Being able to appreciate another person's achievements and superiority in some measure is not to diminish ourselves. Indeed it is a sign of our own maturity.
We need different mentors at different times in our lives. Our parents, a schoolteacher, a superior officer, tutor, boss or an admired friend. These are the people to whom we go for guidance and help, who help us to find a purpose in life, and most importantly encourage us to drive forward towards high achievement.
Every successful person has or has had a mentor, who sets them high criteria for performance and attainment. Top opera singers and musicians all have mentors who are their teachers. Top Olympic riders have riding masters and Winston Churchill had Clementine. So who is your mentor?
Choosing your Mentor
He or she will surely be someone who respects and admires you, as you respect and admire them. They will be competent to advise you, wise, approachable, honest, understanding, patient and without malice. A lot to ask for, you might think. Not really, providing you share mutual affection and you respect their superior knowledge. How to elicit their help? Why, ask them, of course. People are usually glad to help someone in difficulties. They, too, derive fulfilment and a sense of reward from helping someone along life's road.
Just one important thing: It's a good idea to know how and why you want them to be your mentor before trotting round to see them. You must be ready to be candid in sharing your difficulties with them and have decided on the sort of help you need. If you need help in coping with your depression, be open about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Talk about it in terms of your aspirations and expectations. So go get a mentor, and good luck!
