Managing Difficult Business Relationships
There's no doubt that at some time or other in your relationship-building process you will have to deal with some difficult people.
If you find it difficult working with high maintenance people or downright bullies, perhaps you should review your assertiveness techniques.
The key to being assertive is that, in any difficult situation, you leave that situation feeling okay about yourself and the other person involved. The aim is for a win-win outcome in terms of mutual respect and self-respect. Also there will be an absence of anxiety afterwards. You won't have feelings of guilt, embarrassment or frustration.
The difference between being aggressive, passive and assertive is clarified this way:
- An aggressive response is a put down. It is a personal attack, tinged with sarcasm and arrogance.
- A passive response is your choice not to say or do anything confrontational, but it can leave you feeling frustrated afterwards.
- An assertive response is a reasonable objection which is delivered in a polite and positive manner.
How do you normally respond to difficult situations? If you are going to get the most out of your personal contacts you will need to be able to think on your feet. If you find yourself in a tricky situation, an assertive response is one likely to be a win-win. You get nothing out of passive behaviour and you can lose a good deal from behaving aggressively, but what you can gain from being assertive is that you feel good about yourself and the other person. Once you have worked out what the tangible benefits are, it will make you more assertive in future.
